Every year I find myself (and every person around me) saying, "I can't believe it's the holidays already!". November and December seem to be the culmination of an active, busy, tireless year. I've always treated the holidays like the final exams to a semester; sleep, sanity and friendliness are all at risk in order to complete the tasks at hand. If I can pass the holiday tests (which include at the least a great Thanksgiving dish to share, the perfect outfit for holiday parties and thoughtfully clever gifts for everyone) then I feel I've earned a sigh of relief heading into the New Year.
This year has felt very different. The holidays didn't sneak up on me, it seems like this year has moved in slow motion. Finally, it is the holidays! I'm actually excited and enjoying it, rather than trying to race through it to come out on the other side. It's certainly not because I intentionally have chosen to slow down and find peace during this season, but rather the circumstances that have come up throughout this slow-moving year have led to a different type of Christmas season for me, for which I am very thankful.
Considering our financial situation, we decided everyone would understand if we decided to do homemade gifts this year. At the least we thought we could all laugh about our attempted handiwork. Aside from requiring us to be thrifty and creative, Nate and I have also spent a lot of time working together on these which has been so great. (Getting to skip the mall is just an added bonus too!) Another reason this year feels different is because we decided we needed to stop spending our time focusing on what we wish we had and start being more generous and intentional with our time. We have felt free to spent time with family and friends and serve others. Lastly, there is a special joy and excitement this season as we think about the possibility of spending it with our little one next year. Creating traditions, giving thanks, experiencing the magic and mystery of the season... we can't wait to do all of this with our baby! While we are very realistic that there's a good chance we will not yet have travelled to Taiwan around this time next year, knowing there is a possibility brings immense hope and joy to us.
It is such a bizarre thought that our little one could be a tiny infant right now, that his or her birthmother could be struggling with the hardest decision of her life right now. We pray that the peace we are experiencing during this season will in some way reach these strangers. That both will feel safe, supported and loved.
Wishing you moments of calm and peace during this season!
