FAQs

While we were at the beginning stages of researching adoption, we found so many rules geared toward family and friends of those adopting. It seemed like there were lists of what not to do or say. There are certainly comments or questions the average stranger in a grocery store should never ask an adoptive family, and I'm sure you can imagine what those may be. But from our experience so far, friends and family surrounding us have been incredibly supportive, loving and tactful. The questions we get come from a sincere place of genuine interest and support.

I would never want to discourage someone from asking an adoptive family about their journey. This is especially true for those who are still in the process of bringing their child home. Who doesn't love to answer questions about their children?! For parents who do not yet have their children with them physically, asking questions about their child or their journey allows them to be acknowledged as the parent they already are.

Adoption is not something everyone has experience with and many people are trying to learn more and gather information. We wanted to share a few questions we've been asked often over these past few years, to offer our perspective to other adoptive families or those who support adoptive families. Of course our perspective will be different from others. Just like in parenting, everyone must find their own approach that fits their child and their family. We must always continue to learn, grow and adapt.

Q: Why adoption?
A: Adoption is something that has been on my (Lindsey's) heart for a long time. With my sister being adopted, I grew up knowing that it was just another wonderful option to grow your family. Together we decided that this was the way we wanted to start our family.

Q: Will you have more children?
A: Possibly! We are open to another adoption, fostering, or having biological children. But for now, we can't wait to get to know Calvin and later on we will see what is right for our family.

Q: Why Taiwan?
A: We were led to Taiwan and now we see why. After a lot of thought, research and prayer, we felt strongly about international adoption. After one door closed toward the beginning of the process, we soon realized why Taiwan was a great program for our family. We have loved learning about the culture and the country and we appreciate the relationship our son's nursery has with our placing agency. We hope to continue to learn about Taiwan with Calvin as he grows up.

Q: What do you know about Calvin's birth family and his relinquishment?
A: We actually have a good amount of information given to us. However when asked this question we tend to share very little. That is because we believe that this is not our information to share. As he gets older and asks questions, we will share this information with him. This will be his story to claim as his own, and to tell how he wishes.
We are happy to share with others that Calvin's birth mother was given the chance to review our family's information and approved us as his family. There is a chance we will be able to meet some of his biological family when we travel and we are open and eager to do so. 

Q: Why does the process take so long?
A: This is not a simple answer, and honestly one I can't completely answer. Anytime you are dealing with a legal system it takes time. Factor in a legal process in the US coinciding with one overseas and things get even more complicated. Over many years, international safeguards have been put in place to ensure that adoptions are ethical and in the best interest of the child. This is absolutely crucial, however it adds time to the process. There are steps in place that must happen to ensure a birth mother was not coerced, the birth family had the option to raise the child, the child was not trafficked, and the adoptive parents are qualified. Unfortunately with all of the new safeguards in place, there creates a longer and more difficult timeline with even more possibilities of delays.

Q: Why does adoption cost so much?
A: If you think about the steps and time that goes into the adoption over a possible 4 year span, including the translations, filing fees, legal process, home studies, plus social worker and administration pay, you can see how the costs would quickly add up. Also, consider the cost to care for a child during that time, as a large portion of the fees cover the child care costs: medical expenses, specialists, basic care needs, orphanage and employees costs, etc.
*Anyone who is considering adoption, you may have heard this before: do not let the costs deter you. We have been so thankful for the organizations that offer grants or loans, as well as friends and family who have chosen to support us in various ways.

Q: What will things look like when you get home?
A: We can't wait to find out! We are excited to see what it's like being a family of three and creating new routines, traditions, and moments together. We have been mapping our "cocooning" plan (and I say plan very loosely as so much will be based on following Calvin's lead and needs) and will share more about that in upcoming blog posts. But we know that our primary focus will be slowing down, simplifying, and allowing time for love and trust to grow.

Feel free to let us know if there's other questions that we should try to answer!